Batman Damned Tells More In One Panel Then 80 Years Of History

Knock knock. Who’s there? Batman Damned Issue One. Batman Damned Issue One Wh…… Penis! Has the world finally lost its mind? After decades and decades of wonder(?) the Bat-Dong has made its debut. Yes, it’s true. Batman: Damned #1 gives the first ever glimpse into Bruce Wayne’s most prized possession…his penis.

I can’t make this up 

Batman Damned Issue 1 marks the first appearance of Gotham’s greatest weapon. And it has set the internet and world ablaze.

Graded and slabbed issues have already flooded the internet. While none have used the selling hook that I would use, I can’t help but think of how many want to use it…

“Get it now! Your very own graded copy of Batman’s Johnson. That’s right. Crystal clear, no blemishes, dings, staple marks, and color fades. Full and outlined in shadowy goodness for your viewing pleasure. Your collection won’t be complete until you have held Batman’s schlong in the palm of your hands.”

It seems that the grading companies aren’t fully aware of the situation. Sadly, none have taken the time to mention his Junk in the top right of their slabs. I’m not asking for much. Just a simple, “First appearance of Batman’s Junk”. Hopefully, it’s just a matter of time before they do.

Act now

Collectors have begun scooping them up by the truckloads.

If you want your very own piece of Batman Pen…er, I mean history, you can find them on eBay for around $50. If variants are your thing, you’ll shell out $120 for it.

Don’t fret. If eBay isn’t your thing, run down to your local comic store and try to get a copy from them.

But act quickly. With the initial run done, second printings that have censored the goods have appeared. It took nearly a century for the world to find out what Catwoman, Vicky Vale, Talia al Ghul, and the like found so appealing. It may just take another century to find out again.