Demi Lovato Looks Back at Relationship With 30 Year Old Wilmer Valderrama When She Was 18

Demi Lovato recently opened up about one of her past relationships and how she sees it very differently today. The singer spoke about it during a conversation on the podcast Baby, This Is Keke Palmer, hosted by Keke Palmer.

During the discussion, Lovato talked about the power imbalance that can exist when a teenager dates someone much older. She did not mention the person by name, but the story clearly matched her past relationship with actor Wilmer Valderrama. At the time, Lovato was 18, and Valderrama was 30, creating a 12-year age gap.

Lovato, who is now 33, explained that her perspective changed as she got older. She said that when she was young, the relationship felt normal to her. But after reaching her thirties, she began to see the situation differently. “When I turned 30, I was like, ‘That’s not okay,’” Lovato said during the podcast interview.

The conversation started when Palmer shared her own experience as a young celebrity. Palmer remembered questioning a relationship she had when she was a teenager. “Why did I have a 20-year-old boyfriend when I was 15?” she said.

Lovato responded by comparing it to her own situation at the time. “Why was my boyfriend 30? You know what I’m saying?” she said. Both women agreed that many young stars feel pressure to grow up quickly.

Lovato explained that working in the entertainment industry as a teenager made it hard to live a normal life. When she did have time away from work, she said she often partied heavily. According to Lovato, young celebrities sometimes believe that only older people can understand the intense pressure that comes with fame.

That belief can make big age differences in relationships seem acceptable. She also said the feeling of being mature for her age played a role. “Especially if you are an older soul, too,” Lovato explained during the podcast.

Lovato has spoken about this topic before through her music. Her 2022 song 29 directly addresses age-gap relationships and the way they can look different in hindsight. In the song, she sings, “17 would never cross my mind,” reflecting how her boundaries have changed as an adult.

Her view today is very different from what she said years earlier. In a 2017 documentary, Lovato remembered being 17 and feeling completely certain about the relationship. “I love this man, and I have to have him,” she said at the time, even though he initially insisted on waiting until she was legally an adult.

A lot has changed in Lovato’s life since then. She and Valderrama ended their relationship in 2016. Two years later, the singer survived a near-fatal overdose in 2018, an event that became a turning point in her life and recovery journey.

Lovato has since built a more stable personal life. In May 2025, she married musician Jordan “Jutes” Lutes in Santa Barbara. She wore a Vivienne Westwood wedding dress for the ceremony.

The singer has said that the relationship with Lutes developed naturally and without pressure. She has shared publicly that she feels happier and more secure now. Lovato recently said she has “never been more in love,” adding that her husband is the person she was meant to meet at the right time.

At the same time, she continues to work on new projects. Lovato is preparing to begin her It’s Not That Deep Tour, which is scheduled to start on April 13 in Orlando. Some shows have been canceled, including one in North Carolina, because she wants to focus on protecting her health.

Fans are also seeing more of her work on screen. Lovato recently appeared in the documentary Child Star, a project she directed with Nicola Marsh. The film explores the experiences of people who grew up famous and includes interviews with other former child actors.

Lovato has said that speaking honestly about her past is important to her now. Through interviews, music, and film projects, she hopes her story can help others recognize unhealthy patterns and understand the pressures that young performers often face.

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