Comic books have been an incredible way for people to have fun for about a century. With so many characters and storylines already behind us, it’s hard to stay innovative and create something new that really holds up to the standard of pure awesomeness, like Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, Daredevil, and whatnot.
Hence, writers really tend to make blunders sometimes, be it with heroes or the villains they fight. Some of the entries on this list will utterly shock you, and you won’t even believe that somebody ever thought that the introduction of said character would be a good idea. Granted, some of these characters were meant to be ridiculous jokes, but still.
Without further ado, here’s a ranked list of the 15 dumbest, most useless superheroes and supervillains ever created.
Honorable mention: Trapster
I didn’t have the room on the list to include him, but I just couldn’t remove Trapster from the list, as he’s just plain ridiculous. His original supervillain name was Paste-Pot Pete (yes, you read that right), and his only ‘superpower’ was using a big glue gun to literally glue people to other stuff or other people.
Like, if your grandma is into DIY, she could literally be the Trapster. Of course, the guy is always easily defeated by anyone. He changed his name because Spider-Man just couldn’t stop laughing at him when they encountered each other. Can you even believe that this list gets more ridiculous from this point on?
15. The Red Bee
The Red Bee is quite an old, obscure, forgotten character – but oh, I didn’t forget. Rick Raleigh first appeared in Hit Comics #1 in 1940, which was still a part of Quality Comics. However, the character was later sold to DC Comics.
First of all, his appearance is just absolutely ridiculous. He wears a red turtleneck with pink, wide see-through sleeves, red-and-yellow striped tights, and blue, knee-high boots. I mean, you really have to try to write and draw a dumber appearance. But that’s not the best part. Oh, no.
The name Red Bee comes from his appearance, but also his only ‘superpower’ – he has a small, trained bumblebee that he just randomly throws at people. So, anyone with a fly swatter could rid the Red Bee of his ‘powers.’ Ridiculous.
14. Color Kid
Color Kid is an alien boy from the planet Lupra who was working in a science lab and was then hit with a rainbow beam of light that emanated from a different dimension. It gave the boy superpowers, which resulted in the name Color Kid. The problem is, however, that the superpowers he has are just super lame.
Whatever Color Kid touches can change color instantly into the desired color. I mean, I can see how that could be useful if he were working as a room painter or at a car salon, but come on. What kind of a superpower is that?
He’d be higher on this list had it not been the time when that stupid superpower actually saved Superboy and Supergirl. They were passing through a Kryptonite cloud that could essentially kill them, but Color Kid touched it, and as it changed color, it also changed properties and didn’t harm the duo.
It was the only time Color Kid’s powers could change the properties of the touched object instead of his colors only.
This guy is just utterly disgusting. He’s a poor man’s Wilson Fisk – a morbidly obese crime lord. The only difference is he’s not strong or smart like the Kingpin – he can literally barely move from all the fat and usually hides behind his henchmen.
The Slug’s only power is the crime he does, and oh, one time, he literally choked a guy by putting him under his flappy fat. Disgusting, useless, and just plain dumb.
12. Black Condor
If I told you the guy’s power is the flight – you’d say, hey, that’s not dumb, nor useless. And I’d agree if I didn’t know the back story of the Black Condor’s power of flight. So, when he was a baby, he was on a hiking expedition in Mongolia. The entire expedition dies (don’t ask how or why), and the baby is the only survivor (don’t ask how or why either).
So, the baby is found by a flock of condors (despite the fact that condors live nowhere near Mongolia, but who cares, right?), and they raise the kid as his own. Later, he’s adopted and taken back to the US, where his parents were from – but he kept one thing from his condor family.
Yes, Black Condor can fly – because birds taught him how to do it. Like, it doesn’t matter that he’s human. If you spend time with birds, you can fly too! The character’s back story just hurts my intelligence.
11. Almighty Dollar
I wouldn’t say this guy’s powers are useless, but dumb, stupid, ridiculous? You bet. Almighty Dollar is a member of the superhero team created by NFL SuperPro (another utterly dumb character that just missed a spot on the list), and his only power is – shooting pocket change out of his hands.
Like, I’m not sure if he needs to recharge or if the supply of pocket change shooting from Almighty Dollar’s hands is unlimited, but hey, you can’t argue that it’s not useless. Like, he could shoot pennies at hobos or just spurt change until he’s rich enough to buy himself some cool gadgets and be Batman or something.
10. Lady Stilt-Man
It took me a while to grasp the sheer stupidity behind this character, who appeared as a Deadpool villain. First, there was Stilt-Man, a guy who wears metallic armor with legs that can expand into giant stilts. Not that useful, and the name is utterly dumb, but oh well, you could give it a pass as comic relief.
But then came the female version of the character, who was even dumber, emotionally unstable, and named – Lady Stilt-Man. Lady Stilt-Man? Come on, this has to be a joke… but it isn’t. Deadpool defeated her by opening a sewer shaft. She fell down there and cried because she was lame. I cried, too, Lady Stilt-Man. I really did.
9. Hindsight Lad
I won’t get into the backstory too much, but essentially Carlton La Froyge blackmailed himself into being invited to join the New Warriors superhero team – despite having no superpowers. Instead, the dude would dress up, stand on the side, and then tell the real superheroes what they did wrong after the battle.
If there’s one thing I hate in the world, it’s when people sit back and do nothing and then talk about how they’d do it better after the fact. Luckily, Hindsight Man was quickly reduced to a desk job, but he was still happy to just be a ‘part of the team.’ Dumbass.
8. Asbestos Lady
This one is not just ridiculous – it’s absolutely stupid. Asbestos Lady was created in the 1940s when asbestos was all the rage. She was a villainous scientist who went up against the original Human Torch, and her only superpower was creating armor, gadgets, and weapons out of asbestos. Essentially, she walked around dressed in cancer.
Later, Asbestos Lady was apprehended but died due to ‘unknown reasons.’ Um, how about all the asbestos she was wearing? The worst part was that she was so idiotic, and she was supposed to be a scientist. To add to it, her “powers” worked against Human Torch and would protect her from fire, but at the cost of her health, life, and complete ineffectiveness against anybody else.
7. Gin Genie
Not only is the character dumb, but it’s also offensive and quite dangerous. Beckah Parker was a member of X-Statix, and her power was even that useless. She could create powerful seismic waves and blasts that would knock the socks off of everyone around her. The problem is, gin Genie’s powers manifested only when she was insanely drunk. Like, completely wasted.
The more wasted Gin Genie is, the stronger her seismic blasts are. And, due to her drunken state, she’d often direct the blasts at her own team! In the end, she died on a mission. Ugh… what a writing trainwreck.
6. The Condiment King
This guy was hilarious in every iteration he appeared in. DC Comics’ Condiment King wanted nothing more than to become a supervillain, so he invented “powers” for himself. Basically, he can shoot condiments out of those little containers for ketchup and mayo. And he does just that.
I mean, I can see how that could be dangerous. If you’re wearing a white shirt on your way to a job interview and the dude squirts mustard on you, you’d be in a pretty bad spot, right?
And I didn’t even mention his ridiculous outfits. In Batman: The Animated Series, the guy has a hat shaped like a pickle and yells out condiment puns non-stop. Lame, dumb, and useless, right?
Thank the happy spirits; this dude only appeared once in the comics, in Obnoxio the Clown vs. the X-Men #1 (1983). So, Eye-Scream is an X-Men villain that wants to prove he can beat other mutants, as he’s a mutant himself. Essentially, the dude can turn into any flavor of ice cream you can imagine. Heck, he can even turn into a Banana Split, with banana slices and all!
It would be useful if you’re at a children’s party and there’s no pistachio flavor, but that one obnoxious kid really wants pistachio flavor. You’d have to be careful, though, because if the family has a dog, it’s bye-bye Eye-Scream.
If I could choose the most offensive character on this list, it would be this one. Codpiece was a dude that was rejected by a girl because his, well, piece wasn’t big enough. So, he absolutely overcompensated by creating a weird, huge codpiece in his crotch that has cannons, scissors, guns, and other stuff in it. NOBODY WILL SAY MY PIECE IS TINY NOW!
I can’t even believe that DC Comics ever approved of this character, who first appeared in Doom Patrol #70. I mean, imagine having a cannon shot out of your crotch. Won’t there be… any… kickback?
3. Section 8
I chose to put the entire Section 8 team here because it’s impossible to choose which character is dumber or more useless. There’s Sixpack, whose superpower is being drunk as hell 24/7. Then, you have Flemgem, the guy who has a chest infection and coughs phlegm out on people. Then there’s the Defenestrator, whose power is carrying a window to slam on people’s heads.
You also have Jean De Baton-Baton, who is, well, French. Shakes is a guy who has disturbing palsy and uses it to, well, disturb people. But, the absolute worst of them all is (drum roll please) – the Dogwelder. He does exactly what it sounds like – he welds dogs to people’s faces. I kid you not.
If you can think of a dumber, more useless superhero group, please let me know. Until then, DC Comics’ Section 8 takes the cake.
2. Matter-Eater Lad
There are many ridiculous kinds of superpowers in comics, but Matter-Eater Lad has to be the one that looks the worst. Essentially, he’s an alien from a planet that’s very obscure with nutritive stuff, so its inhabitants developed the ability to eat – anything. Like, literally anything, from tree bark, and rocks, to metal or acid.
Matter-Eater Lad was once trapped in an underground bunker and ate his way out. He once ate an entire silo full of corn. Imagine how it looks like when that stuff comes out the other end…
Last but not least, this guy just has to be the dumbest, lamest, most ridiculous, and most useless superhero of all time. I mean, even his name is insanely dumb! So, the Legion of Super-Heroes had auditions, and he was the first guy to arrive.
Essentially, his power is to detach his arm and use it as a club to bludgeon his opponents. Like, he couldn’t use a baseball bat or a stick. Instead, he’s left with one arm, and he has to use it to hold his other arm as a weapon. Of course, he was rejected from the team, but I just can’t believe somebody even came up with Arm-Fall-Off-Boy.