Guardians of the Galaxy have certainly been a consistent trilogy of movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The consensus among the fans is that James Gunn’s trilogy has been one of the best parts of MCU, and frankly, I agree. The way Guardians were introduced to the universe, their backstories, interactions with each other… they’ve truly been one of the best things the MCU could offer. Some fans argued that the one-liners MCU characters love doing became overbearing, but Gunn always found ways to make his character’s quips on point and hilarious.
Drax the Destroyer is far from a happy character, but his sarcasm and deadpan delivery from Dave Bautista made this character so funny in the Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy. Some fans disliked him being a comic relief over the stronger character, but Drax still had great moments in the MCU. We will dedicate this article to the 15 most hilarious Drax quotes in the MCU, so buckle up and enjoy the rest of it. Beware of spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy and Avengers movies.
1. Gamora: “Why aren’t you wearing one of Rocket’s Aero-Rigs?” Drax: “It hurts; I have sensitive nipples.”
In the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie, we saw the team in action after the Battle of Xandar. Sovereign hired Guardians to take down the Abilisk that was eating Anulax Batteries.
When questioned by Gamora why he wasn’t wearing one of Rocket’s Aero-Rigs, Drax reveals that he has sensitive nipples, which reveals to us that Drax doesn’t necessarily like piercings – at least there, it’s a sensitive spot.
2. “I have famously huge turds!”
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 had some hilarious jokes that landed perfectly, some of which were an absolute mess. However, this one showcased Drax’s personality by telling his teammates he has huge turds and is famous for it!
This quote came from Rocket’s and Star-Lord’s usual bickering; when the Raccoon promised Quill he would put Drax’s turd in his bed.
Honestly, I have nothing else to add; that joke made the usually insignificant scene much better.
3. Quill: “How the hell is this dude still alive?!” Drax to Quill: He is not a dude, you’re a dude, this… this is a man… a handsome, muscular man.”
Avengers: Infinity War is probably in the top two of the best Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, and besides a great storyline that almost reached its peak, the superheroes teamed up and brought us the greatest crossover of the MCU. One of those amazing moments is Guardians rescuing Thor from the wrecked ship.
While Thor is unconscious, the Guardians observe the stranger, who is obviously really attractive. Of course, Drax never misses a chance to pick on Quill, and this was the perfect moment. Thor is a really handsome, muscular man. Also, that whole scene is amazing – it really reminded me of the best roasting sessions, and unfortunately for Star-Lord, he was the target.
4. *Quill and Gamora kissing*, Drax: *eating snacks in the background*, Gamora: “Oh…”, Quill: “Dude, how long have you been standing there?”, Drax: “An hour.” Quill: “Seriously?!”
Avengers: Infinity War increased the scales for our superheroes, and the long-awaited relationship was finally established – Gamora and Star-Lord finally kissed. Of course, their romantic moment was interrupted by no other than Drax, who was standing his whole time in that room and heard everything the pair said to each other.
Drax goes on to explain his hilarious blending tactics to annoy Star-Lord and Gamora, and this whole scene is absolutely hilarious, only expressing how good Guardians are at humor. Also, Mantis ruins everything for the Destroyer at the end of that scene – just peak humor from Drax.
5. Drax: “My father would tell the story of him impregnating my mother every winter solstice…” Quill: “That’s disgusting!” Drax continues: “…it was beautiful.”
The second Guardians movie is on the list once again, and this time, Drax overshares his personal life a bit too much. This whole bit happened during Ego’s talk about his origins, and Drax’s quips during this scene are hilarious.
However, this quote really brought a small chuckle to me, and I like to think I’m quite hard to make laugh. Good job, Drax, you did it.
6. “You are horrifying to look at, yes, but that’s a good thing when you’re ugly, and someone loves you; you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust.”
Drax and Mantis really bonded since the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 movie. The way they interact is hilarious throughout the MCU, but despite Drax’s blunt honesty and a little clumsy expression, he still wants the best for his teammates.
This quote expresses the true Drax – he might insult you why complimenting you and “being real.”
7. “Do not ever call me a thesaurus.”
Another Drax quote from the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie only set a precedent for who Drax would become for the superhero group. Star-Lord loves talking in Earth-like metaphors, while no one from the aliens understands what he’s talking about.
After Drax offers his knowledge of the English language during the prison break, Star-Lord tries to be sassy, but Drax takes it hilariously seriously.
8. “You Quill are my friend, this dumb tree is my friend… and this green who-“
Well, you can guess what Drax meant by that last word. Drax and Gamora hated each other before they met and reconciled since Thanos was her father, and at one point, she worked under Ronan the Accuser.
Of course, they became really good friends, and Gamora’s death affected Drax as well in the end.
9. “You just need to find a woman who is pathetic as you.”
Dr. Drax, once again, with wise words for Quill, who shows his feelings for Gamora throughout the second Guardians movie.
Drax is just so helpful when it comes to relationship advice.
10. “What if someone does something irksome, and I decide to remove his spine?”
The end of the first movie marked the creation of the Guardians of the Galaxy team, and the way Drax asks about the clear murder of someone in front of the Nova Corps member, Rhomann Dey, is hilarious and really closed out the movie in the best possible way.
Also, Drax is a Destroyer; those things don’t bother him in the slightest.
11. “If he’s a planet, how can he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her!”
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 has many hilarious moments with Drax. When Ego first appears and introduces himself as Quill’s father, Star-Lord and the other Guardians members are curious about his story and origins.
While Guardians are mildly curious, Drax wants to know what everyone was dying to ask – how the planet impregnates the human woman?! Well, we know that Ego is a powerful Celestial, but Drax still represents the audience when they meet Ego in the second movie.
12. “We leave no one behind… except maybe you.”
The second Guardians movie proves that this project was meant to propel Drax’s character, and it was great. The team evaluates their rescue plan when the Guardians of the Galaxy discover Ego’s plans and their leader is in danger.
After Nebula, who is still an enemy, suggests that the team leave Star-Lord behind, Drax answers that they are family and don’t leave anyone behind… maybe except Nebula herself. Of course, that didn’t happen, and we saw a hilarious and touching moment provided by Mr. Emotion, Drax himself.
13. “Outta the way, you dumber, smaller Groot!”
The second Guardians movie was a trip, and baby Groot was also a part of the great adventure. However, little Groot was also really strict and was one of the biggest critics of Drax, who was being his usual, unhinged self.
While Drax runs to the ship, he shoos baby Groot out of the way, and it’s so hilarious.
14. “Humility. I like it. I, too, am extraordinarily humble.”
We learned quickly that humility is not what Ego expressed during the first movie since he was plotting the literal disaster of the galaxy for his own agenda. Drax finds the whole thing outrageous during the tour of Ego’s own planet (himself) if we can interpret that from previous quotes, but when he finds himself during Ego’s “humbling” speech, Drax says the famous words.
Typical Drax. Also, is Ego really preaching about being humble? Ironic, isn’t it?
15. “I’ll do you one better … why is Gamora?!”
Finally, one of the most quoted memes and hilarious moments of the Avengers: Infinity War movie is the famous Why is Gamora? Of course, Guardians and Avengers meet on Titan, and it is chaotic, to say the least.
Star-Lord wants to know where Gamora is, Iron Man is confused and asks who is Gamora, but Drax does it the best and asks what we all wondered – why is Gamora?
Absolutely hilarious and one of the best comedic moments of the movie. We know Drax didn’t die in the GotG 3, but we will miss him so much in the MCU, and Dave Bautista, who really made this character.