Deadpool has enriched the world of comics with his humor, unique character, and relationships with other characters. He carried the same essence into the Deadpool movies, where almost every line he delivered was hilarious and could easily be found on the list presented in this article. We have gathered some of the best quotes in this article to remind ourselves of some of the greatest Deadpool quotes from movies and comics. Having them just one click away is always good because they guarantee to bring smiles to your face.
Greatest Deadpool quotes from the ‘Deadpool’ movie
‘Oh, hello. I know, right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can’t tell you, but it does rhyme with “Polverine.”‘
One of the great things about the ‘Deadpool’ movie is that Deadpool often addresses the audience, making them even more entertained. In this quote, we can see an example of it. At the beginning of the movie, this is what we get – an image of Deadpool playing with Wolverine’s private parts. Classic Wade.
‘You’re probably thinking, “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie… “but that guy in the red suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab!” Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero.’
Deadpool is many things, but he always claimed that he is not superhero material. He likes to do things his own way, killing bad guys now and then- but only those who deserve it. Sometimes he is too fast on the trigger, and his katanas tend to slice through other people hastily, but that’s all part of Deadpool’s charm.
‘You did not bet on me to die. You bet on me to die. Wow! Motherfucker, you’re the world’s worst friend. Well, joke’s on you. I’m living to 102. And then dying. Like the city of Detroit.’
If there’s one thing Deadpool loves more than himself, it’s to egg on various real-life people, events, and places. In this one, the main victim is Detroit. This stings in two ways. First, Detroit is a border town near Canada, and this joke comes from a Canadian. And second, the city suffered from a high unemployment rate and emigration, leaving it in a pretty shaken state.
‘What’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?’
Nope, this is not a speech from ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ but a pickup line from ‘ When Wade Met Vanessa.’ The lovely couple met in a bar called ‘Sister Margaret’s,’ and this quote represents how Wade made his first move. Smooth, right?
‘If your left leg is Thanksgiving…and your right leg is Christmas…can I visit you between the holidays?’
It is fair to say that Vanessa and Wade could not keep their hands from each other throughout their relationship. What always kept their flame strong was lines like this. We all know that Deadpool is known for his sense of humor, and that’s also a plus with the ladies. I am not sure anyone could pull this joke like him, though.
‘Here’s the thing. Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness. This had been the ultimate commercial break.’
For someone who always cracks jokes, one would think that Wade led an easygoing life full of cheers and rainbows. But that was not the case. Wade knew that the world was a messed up place, and he only felt truly happy when he was with Vanessa. So, when he got cancer, he knew it was time to return to reality, and all the happy moments with Vanessa will soon be over.
‘I had a Liam Neeson nightmare. I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter, and he just wasn’t having it. Hey, uh, they’ve made three of those movies. At some point, you must wonder if he’s just a bad parent.’
This one references the ‘Taken’ movie franchise, where Liam Neeson portrays Bryan Mills, a retired CIA agent whose daughter gets abducted. Bryan goes to save her, killing many bad guys in the process. ‘ I don’t know who you are, but I will find you, and I will kill you.’- to refresh your memories. Wade’s observation regarding Bryan’s parenting skills might be true.
‘The day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit-swizzler who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland mansion of some creepy, old, bald, Heaven’s Gate-looking motherfucker… on that day… I’ll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request.’
Over the course of two movies, Colossus puts his efforts into getting Deadpool on the ‘right path’ and making an X-Men out of him. This is difficult because Deadpool’s methods are inadequate, especially by X-Men standards. Wade is aware of that and is adamant that superhero life is not for him.
‘Aren’t you a little strong for a lady? I’m calling wang.’
When Wade was brought for treatment, he was not warmly welcomed. He was immediately thrown on a bed and strapped on it. Angel was Ajax’s assistant, and she ensured that Wade was strapped nicely tight. There was not much Wade could do but watch how freakishly strong Angel does what she likes. She was a bit too strong for a girl if you asked Wade. So, he had a theory there could be something else going on…
‘She’s like Robin to my Batman, except she’s old, black, and blind. And I think she’s in love with me. Wait, pretty sure Robin loves Batman, too.’
Deadpool loves to make fun of other superheroes, no matter what Universe they come from. Wade lived with Al, an elderly blind woman, and they had a distinctive relationship. She was to him what Robin was to Batman, and Wade thinks Jason Todd could be in love with Bruce- and while that is not true, it would explain some things.
‘Looks are everything. You ever heard David Beckham speak? It’s like he mouth-sexed
a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method?’
When it comes to being roasted, no one is safe from Deadpool. This time, David Beckham was on the menu. However, all the great jokesters also know how to make fun of themselves. As you probably know, Ryan Reynolds was the guy who played Wade Wilson/Deadpool. Good looking, but not much of an actor. Good one, Wade – ‘and the truth shall set you free.’
‘Listen, Al… if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. And also, uh, there’s about 116 kilos of cocaine buried somewhere in the apartment… right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.’
As Wade prepared to go on a final clash with Ajax, he said his goodbyes to Al. And he did it in his style. These two represent ‘roommate’s goals’ for sure.
‘See? You don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you.’
In this one, Deadpool’s romantic side comes out. After he killed Ajax and all the other unlucky bastards on his way, there was just one thing left – to show his new face to Vanessa. It went pretty well, so we can conclude – love really is blind.
‘ You’re still here? It’s over. Go home. Oh, you’re expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don’t have that kind of money. What are you expecting? Sam Jackson to show up? With an eye patch and a saucy little leather number? Go. Go.’
Marvel movies got us accustomed to sitting in theaters thought to post-credits scenes. And yes, maybe we did expect Sam Jackson to show up and invite Deadpool to become an Avenger; maybe we didn’t. However, Wade was a good sport and told us that would not happen, saving us some time. He also needed someone to play Cable in the next movie, and even Keira Knightley was in consideration…
Greatest Deadpool quotes from the ‘Deadpool 2’ movie
Classic Deadpool intro line in the sequel. Straight to the point. As legendary Stan Lee would say: ‘Nuff said.’
‘Look, a saner man might discourage you from joining the deadly merc business, what, with your concave chest and your paper towel tube arms. But you’re an eagle, and goddamn it, an eagle’s gotta soar. You gotta grab those dreams, grab those dreams by the d*ck tip… and make it rain!’
In the first movie, we meet Dopinder, a funny taxi driver who kidnaps his cousin Bandhu because the latter stole his girl. After that, Dopinder got thirsty for adventures. In the sequel, Dopinder admires Deadpool because Wade is ‘living the life’, and Dopinder wants to become a superhero as well. Sure, Deadpool knows that is basically suicide, but he does what any good friend would do – he shows support.
‘I was fighting a caped badass. But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too.’
At this point, it is obvious- Deadpool loves Batman references. However, this joke refers to the ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’ movie when Batman is about to kill Superman but then finds out that Clark’s mother is also called Martha. Deadpool used it as an excuse for being late, which was funny.
‘You’re a lot smarter than I look.’
As giving compliments go – this is pretty much the best you can expect from Wade. Vanessa is one lucky lady.
‘I could get used to this X-Men shit.’
After Vanessa was killed, Deadpool was in a bad place. Colossus took him to the X-Men mansion and eventually got Wade to become X-Men. Well. X-Men trainee. Deadpool started to like all the attention and action on his first mission as X-Men, but he messed up very soon. Wade has a simple rule – bad guy=dead guy. However, that kind of behavior did him no good. Instead, he ended up in prison with the power inhibitor around his neck.
‘People think you wake up a hero… brush your teeth a hero… ejaculate into a soap dispenser a hero. But, no, being a hero takes only a few moments! A few moments doing the ugly stuff no one else will do.’
Colossus had a saying about what being a hero means, and Deadpool adjusted that saying a bit…Wade believed that not everyone deserves to live. And while he changed his mind later and spent the entire movie trying to save the kid named Russell from being killed, the part about the soap is true; he did that. And Colossus was not happy.
‘F*ck your rules! I fight for what’s right! And sometimes you gotta fight dirty!’
Deadpool had two flaws Colossus could not tolerate: Wade’s language and his tendency to kill. But making Deadpool not curse or stab someone with katanas now and then is like forbidding birds to fly.
‘I can’t protect you. With this collar on, my superpower is just unbridled cancer. Give me a bow and arrow, I’m basically Hawkeye.’
Throughout the comics, Deadpool and Hawkeye have a distinctive relationship, and Deadpool always makes fun of Hawkeye at any chance he gets. So, it was only a matter of time before some reference was also made in the movies. When Wade was imprisoned, the collar around his neck inhibited his regenerative abilities, and his cancer started to spread again.
‘What did I do to piss off a grumpy old f*ck with a Winter Soldier arm?’
Cable came from the future to kill Rusell, and Deadpool was involved. Cable’s bionic arm reminded Wade of Winter Soldier, even though he had no idea who Cable was and what he wanted. They would become good buddies eventually, though.
‘Oh! So, you’re from the future. I have three questions, then. One, is dubstep still a thing? Two, do people still homebrew? And three, does Dopinder ever find love?’
Deadpool used the fact that Cable comes from the future to ask some important questions. And it’s charming how he’s concerned about Dopinder’s happiness. Dubstep was the topic of Deadpool’s and Cable’s confrontation, and I am sure many people googled what dubstep is when the movie finished.
‘You’re so dark! Are you sure you’re not from the DC universe?’
As if stabbing Deadpool a few times and breaking his arms wasn’t enough, Cable also mentioned that dubstep is for pu***es. Cable hurt Wade’s feelings with this, making Deadpool wonder that Cable might be from the DC universe. The reference was funny because, compared to the Marvel Universe, DC always had a darker tone.
‘You know what we need to do? We need to build a f***ing team. We need ’em tough, morally flexible… and young enough so they can carry this franchise 10 to 12 years.’
Deadpool decided to reinforce his team because he could not defeat Cable alone. Auditions were long and exhausting, but he eventually formed a team. And the other thing we learned from this is that Deadpool intends to have a movie franchise after Deadpool 2. And his wishes came true.
‘Good news and bad news. Bad news is the whole team is dead. The good news is, I don’t think anyone’s gonna miss Shatterstar. He was a bit of a prick.’
Almost every one of Deadpool’s newly formed team members got killed in a mission gone wrong. Their deaths were morbid and funny at the same time. Wade managed to get some silver lining out of it all because no one liked Shatterstar, apparently, so at least they got rid of him.
‘I thought that was you! I should’ve worn my white pants. You probably get this a lot, but I am a huge fan. Uncanny X-Men #183. Thor #411. X-Men Unlimited #12. You know, it has always been a dream of mine to see my face reflected in your helmet as you charge at me with murder intent. I don’t mean right now.’
This quote is funny for several reasons. First, Wade had a theory that he wears a red suit so the bad guys can’t see him bleed. He once mentioned that a guy about to be killed should’ve worn brown paints because he’s gonna intimate him. And in this instance, Wade is excited to meet Juggernaut, so I think it’s clear why he says he should’ve worn white pants. Deadpool is Juggernaut’s huge fan, and he looked forward to meeting him.
‘Oh, yeah. You should never meet your heroes… because, honestly, he’s a bit of a dick! And like a lot of dicks, he’s hard as a rock… and causes nothing but problems!’
‘You should never meet your heroes’ is something we hear often, and Deadpool experienced on his own skin why that is. Juggernaut is a very powerful mutant, strong and destructive. And Deadpool’s comparison made the whole thing even more funnier.
‘Zip it, Thanos!’
This was a witty reference that made almost everyone laugh. Josh Brolin portrayed Cable in Deadpool 2, but he played Thanos in several other Marvel movies. So, when Deadpool called Cable Thanos, it was funny, and we all knew what it meant.
‘All right, let’s flip a coin. Okay? Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me. I’m not even gonna look because you did it for me.’
When Deadpool got shot toward the end of the movie with the collar inhibitor on his neck, Cable decided to time travel a bit in the past and prevent Wade from getting killed. Of course, Cable would never admit that he did it to save Wade, but merc with a mouth knew- Cable did it for him.
Some of the greatest Deadpool quotes from comics
‘I can start sending you bullets my body passes, but I don’t know how’d you’d figure out which one is from tonight. The only guy that gets shot more is 50 cent.’
In the ‘Hawkeye vs. Deadpool’ comic, Hawkeye and Deadpool are on a mission to resolve a murder and the theft of confidential S.H.I.E.L.D. data. As the police try to examine the crime scene, Deadpool makes a funny reference to 50 Cent. We know that Deadpool has been shot more times than we can count, but in real life, the famous rapper was shot nine times, which is not funny but is regarding Deadpool’s sense of humor.
Wade: ‘Hang on a sec. I need to see a man about a wiener. Four hot dogs, please.’ Hawkeye: ‘Oh no, thanks. I’m not hungry.’ Wade: ‘Fine. Four hot dogs, please, and none for my friend.’
In the same comic, Deadpool got hungry in the middle of the investigation, so he went to buy some hot dogs. Hawkeye did not know that Wade could eat so much, so he made an honest mistake. Deadpool ensured that Hawkeye knew he never intended to offer him any hot dog anyway. Classic friendship.
‘Here’s our guy! Or what’s left of him. I’m going to enjoy this moment. Very rarely am I not the ugliest guy in the room.’
After Doctor Killebrew and Ajax disfigured Wade’s body and face, he wasn’t the most handsome guy out there. Luckily, the mission he and Hawkeye were on led them to a morgue where someone even more messed up lay. And that improved Wade’s day a lot.
‘Dammit… I should’ve been Freddy for Halloween.’
The ‘Hawkeye vs. Deadpool’ storyline happens around Halloween, with many costumes and trick-or-treating going around. All of that also led to an honest mistake that Kate Bishop made. She joined Clint and Deadpool to help them with the case, and since she had never seen Deadpool without a mask before, she thought he was Freddy Krueger for Halloween. When you think about it, Wade and Freddy do share some resemblance.
‘You know, I won’t kill you ‘cuz you’re my bud. An’ I never kill my buds who do okay by me… ‘less I’m paid to, of course… but that don’t mean I can’t crack a bone or two on your scranny bod! Friends I can kneecap… that’s cool.’
Weasel was always someone Wade could rely on, and the same was in ‘Deadpool: The Circle Chase.’ The information that Weasel provided required Deadpool to catch a moving plane and get on board. Wade was unhappy with chasing the plane but was sure that Weasel would find all that hilarious. According to Deadpool, the appropriate punishment for Weasel’s behavior is a few broken bones.
‘Nothing can prepare you for when Stephen Hawking goes crazy.’
In ‘Deadpool (2013),’ many former USA presidents are resurrected and about to do some serious damage. F.D.R. arrived in his wheelchair with some decent powers, and the police were not ready to deal with such a situation. Roosevelt reminded Wade of Stephen Hawking, and one can never be ready for when Stephen Hawking goes crazy.
‘Should we talk about the elephant in the room? ‘Cause it’s on fire.’
When an elephant is in the room, it’s best to address it immediately. However, when that elephant is being electrocuted and burned by Deadpool, everyone gets shocked. Apparently, Thomas Edison did the same thing once, just not to an elephant. And he was considered a hero afterward. So, maybe Deadpool is a hero too.
‘You know what, Wong? I’ve always really enjoyed magic shows. I am not a magician, but I did saw a woman in half one time. Do you know how to put them back together?’
In one of the small talks between Wade and Wong, it came up that Deadpool how to saw people in half but did not know how to put them back together afterward. Wong’s response: ‘Horrible man.’
‘Surprise! Say hello to my little Wade!’
In ‘Deadpool (2013) #4,’ Wade dresses up as Marilyn Monroe and kills J.F.K. The ex-president was surprised to see what was under ‘Marilyn’s dress because that was not there the last time he checked. Both Wade being disguised in Marilying and J.F.K.’s reaction were hilarious.
‘You’re worse than dead… you’re Deadpool.’
Preston was one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who hired Wade for a job. She was on good terms with Deadpool, and he considered her his friend. So, when she was killed, Wade was furious because he’d lost a friend and would not get paid for a job. A guy named Necromancer eventually saved Preston in a way, and he preserved parts of her in Deadpool’s mind. And for everyone included, that was even worse than being dead.
‘If I’m going to really do this, I better remember the one golden rule of being Iron Man… is it ‘beer before liquor’ or ‘liquor before beer’?
It’s no secret that Tony Stark liked to spend his time in the company of alcohol. There were a lot of powerful people that exploited Tony’s vulnerable state and hired Deadpool to ensure that Tony kept drinking. However, Wade has a change of heart and even helps save the day from a nuclear blast by posing as Iron Man. Deadpool puts Stark’s armor on and goes on an adventure he will never forget.
‘Are you sniffing me? Wolverine does this to me all the time. What are you guys smelling?’
Mephisto is known to be a cunning opportunist who thrives on other people’s miseries. He could also sense things and powers no matter how hidden they were. At one instance, he senses Agent Preston’s existence in Deadpool’s head, but Wade thinks that Mephisto is just after some nice smell. Wolverine also sniffed him regularly, so he started to wonder what was up with all the sniffing.
‘No Watcher, no problem.’
The Watcher is that dude that always pops out in comics, and you know something big is about to go down. He addresses himself as a silent observer in significant events, from small-scale conflicts to major cosmic events. Deadpool scaled the importance of tragic events with a simple measure- if there was the Watcher present, it was important. If not- no biggie.
‘Did someone say ‘chimichanga’? Never mind, it’s just the sound of my skull and brains healing.’
All the battling and fighting Deadpool was in sometimes ended up with him being stabbed or shot through his head. It happened a lot, actually. And while we can only speculate what that is like, Wade depicts the healing of those kinds of wounds as ‘chimichanga’ voices.
‘What do you call a giant rock dude that bleeds to death? Mount Gushmore.’
In ‘Deadpool (2013) #17,’ Deadpool, Wolverine, and Captain America are after Butler, the guy who has their DNA samples. Along the way, they fight various foes, one of them being a giant creature made of stone. Even though Cap wants it to surrender, Logan and Wade have different opinions regarding the creature’s destiny.
‘I can’t believe I get to kill Hitler. I can’t wait to tell Captain America!’
In ‘Deadpool (2013) #26,’ Nick Fury sent Deadpool to the past to kill Hitler, who got his hands on a time-traveling machine. Hitler and Red Skull were among the first enemies Captain America ever confronted, so naturally, Wade is excited to tell his anecdote to Steve when he returns to the future.
‘You just killed the deranged chick from the juice bar that I was gonna score with someday maybe!‘
Deadpool is a simple guy; he sees the girl he likes, then makes a move, or just fantasizes about her. However, sometimes those girls end up dead before his potential hookup bears fruit, and he is left angry and in a killing mood.
‘Oh, no! Don’t punch me! I’ve never been punched before.’
Imagine you’re walking down the street, and instead of saying hello to almost everyone you meet, you get slapped in the face by those people. Deadpool does not have to imagine that life because he’s living it. His life is a constant battle with his outer and inner enemies, and almost all of them try to kill him. He can’t even catch a break when he goes on a Wakandan holiday.
‘I love the smell of 372,844 pancakes in the morning. Smells like victory.’
Everyone loves pancakes. However, Deadpool likes them the most, and he’s using them in a manner we are perhaps not accustomed to. Merc with a Mouth used pancakes as a trap for the X-Men, most notably Domino, who was sent to spy on Wade. So, he made 372,844 pancakes. That’s some dedication, huh?
Deadpool is all guns, katanas, and witty comments, so if you have any more Deadpool quote to share with us, please do in the comments below!